10262011

Hey whats up blog ... Its been awhile how have you been ... Sorry for not talking to you much but here i am now ... Well, I just wanted to come tell you that I'm hungry and I need food ok ... Thanks for listening and I shall be back later ... I have lots of things to tell you but like they say, your brain doesnt function well on an empty stomach ... I'll come back when I remember ok... Thanks Blog !

091011

Hey whats up ... well today is an intresting day or shall i say date ... its 9-10-11 ... its the start of a new life for me ... not too many people get a 3rd chance at living life again yet a 2nd chance ... but i did ... i only have one person to thank and that is the Almighty Lord ... His mercy he showed me and spare me from...alot of bad stuff ... He is Amazing and I am living proof that miracles do happen! ... and twice it happened to me ... a year ago as i laied in the hospital bed, i was diagnosed with liver failure ... liver failure is my liver had died, kapoop, blop, ... like a dead organ just sitting laying around chillin in my body ... i really thought it was gonna be the end for me this time ... i was told there was no way of saving it because its completely dead so the only way i will survive thru this was to have a transplant and getting on the waiting list doesnt even guarantee that you'll get one ... also the doctor said i would be very lucky to live to see my next birthday, which is this coming monday on September 12th ... i was speechless, in awe, or whatever you call it ... how would anyone react if they was told they was gonna die within 6 months time ? ... i dont know how i did it but i knew deep down inside i still have some hope and faith left ... months gone by, battling depression, hunger, anger, everything ... i turned into this ugly bitter hateful monster of a person that i never thought i could be ... and so God sent Msee back into my life ... she showed me the way to fight, struggle, deal with everything ... as much has it annoyed her as she always say, she kept on believing in me and helped build my hope and faith ... and so on and so on ... without her coming into the right time i needed someone the most, i wouldnt know if i'd even still be here today ... she has lead me out of the dark path and into the light ... i feel like i owe her my life because without her, who knows what might have happened to me ... i love her soo much for always caring and encouraging me to keep presevering on ... she is my little special angel as they call it, sent by God to come slap some sense back into me ... I Love You my Msee hehehe ... so anyways i went to my scheduled appt, which was suppose to be back in march but they kept rescheduling and rescheduling into september 9th, which was yesterday ... i had alot of good vibes as i went to the hospital... but right at check in i was overcame with nervousness but that didnt fade me ... so went in, did my check up, waited for the doctor to come in and deliver me the news of how my progress has been ... as soon as he opened the door i just knew, i just knew it was full of good news ... it was like as soon as he opened the door to come greet me, there was a brighter light shining into the room ... he said to me " Hello Mr. Her you look great and i dont even have to ask you a question because i already know that you're doing very well from the last time i saw you. I can tell that you have stopped drinking completely which helped brought back to life my liver and its recovering." ... i just wanted to jump up and scream my thanks to the Lord who has guided my path to where i am today ... i will always remember that day because i had felt like i was given new life and another chance to live my life what God had intended me to do ... I couldnt wait to get home and share my good news and happiness with her ... but we shall not get into that because i dont want to remember it hahah ... it was like i won the lottery and went bankrupt in the very same day ... i was soo worried and sad that i had lost her ... sometimes when its hard to express what your heart feels and you express it thru words, the words always comes out wrong ... i was so afraid that i would lose her forever ... but i didnt so yeah thanks God for stopping her from leaving me hahah ... i still need her very much in my life to help walk this new path with me and holding each others hand so we both dont fall or stray out of this path ... Im felt so happy that she gave me a chance to explain myself ... I'm so sorry Msee ... I would never say such hurtful words to you just to hurt you... It just came out wrong and hurtful ... Youve been such a blessing and a best friend to me, i would never say those words to you from my tongue ... I can honestly say I Love You not because you are hot hahaha but because you are a beautiful person inside and out ... The most caring and loving person i've ever known ... most compassionate person ever ... i can go on forever but i know you're gonna read this later so thats it ok hehe ... I'm ready to start this new life with her if she would only accept ... so until then, i hope and pray she will still hold my hand and walk with me thru this road called Life ... I Love You Msee, and i owe my life to you Jesus and Thank You for giving me your life so that i can have new life ... enuff rambling because i need to call this woman before she goes to sleep ! ... until next time mr blog, remember this ok ... Because of Gods mercy and will, i am still here today writing to you. God is truely Amazing and really does work in mysterious ways ... Lastly I Love You too ok Msee hehehe ... latersssssssss !

08281011

Dear blog ... its been a while man, how have you been ? ... hmms lets see where i can pick up where i left off a week or so ago ... well time has flew on by like usual ... Matt has gottened over his sickness so which is a good thing ... let's see what else ... Gabber's also got a new pool but not quite sure if she's been pee'ing in it hahaha ... She has finally got her brand new 2012 Scion TC ... I'm so exited for her ... thats the best news so far yet ... I'm proud of the fact that she looks like an innocent little lady and them toyota guys thinking they can pull a fast one on her but nopes, she stopped them dead in their tracks ! haha Good Job hon' ... I've been feeling kinda i dont know the past couple days ... went and got my meds at walmart and bam it felt like something was stabbing my insides ... horrible pain i swear ... but im glad that went away quick and didnt stick around that long like how it used to ... speaking of pain, i'm kinda worried about her coughing up blood and sharp chest pains ... i really pray to God that she will seek her doctor for a check up ... I know it might not be a big thing but it doesnt hurt to get a check up every now and then ... speaking of check ups, i have to go donate some blood this coming tuesday or wednesday ... man that sucks ... maybe i'll drive this time since it seems like everyone's gonna be soo busy them days ... i think i should be ok to drive but im just afraid of the far parking in the garage parking area and then walk all the way to the stairs and elevators and then crossing that walking bridge then and then walk all the way across to the other side of the hospital to get where im suppose to go ... dang thinking about it is already making me feel tired ... but i'll manage, i always do ... well thats that ... the plans for this week ... oh yeah and also ben and his wife and the rest of the california cousins are coming to town this week ... I cant wait to see them although they are all married and im sure they will mostly do couple things with the married brothers and married cousins here ... but it still will be nice to see them ... maybe they'll make me miss them and make me wanna visit california again, but lets hope not ... Also i got a text from my cousin Lisa in Charlotte telling me she is in the path of the hurricane so i hope to hear good news from her that she is ok ... and hmms what else ... well Maisee said I've always been a crybaby and i guess she is right because i kinda, kinda a little only cried hahaha ... dang it i hate showing that soft side of me but like usual, she always makes me feel better about myself ... and the best news of all, other than her getting her new car, is that she said YES to me, but the sad part is that she retracted that yes ... hahaha darn ... at least i was happy and smiling for that quick minute ... totally made my day ! ... also i had a great time on the phone with her last night, its been awhile since we stayed up that late and had a deep but funny but everything else kinda conversation like that ... makes me more and more "I-L" with her haha ... well I'm kinda saddened that her family has to go back home on tuesday because she's gonna be really sad so i will try my best to keep her cheered up ... when i think about it i find it kinda weird that i dont even know these people but yet i feel like they are a part of me kinda like a family because they're her family ... i guess thats how you feel if you you really ? someone and what matters most to her, matters to you too ... I guess its true what someone once said to me "When it's the right person, it's the right person. You dont question it, you just know." well overall its a good feeling ... well she's out with the rest of the family at uncle mel's place having their going away dinner together so im hoping she's enjoying every moment of it ... and when she comes home later, i will nag and annoy her and confess my love to her like how i do every night hahah ... i wonder if she ever gets tired of hearing it ? ... yes or no i dont care hahaha .... ok well until another time blog, i shall talk to you soon ... To be continued ....

08162011

Hmms... I felt like writing earlier but ... dont feel like writing anything tonight ... see yall next time....

0811011

well today started out like a typical morning day ... did my usual routine ... texted her ... kept on trying to nag her to eat breakfast but like what they say about this one stubborn horse, you can lead it to water and make it drink, so of course she ignored my cries ... and then laid around ... and then bam ... got hit with a little bad news ... her crunk mobile died on her ... got me worried for a bit because i thought it died on her while she was driving...

well talking to her now so i shall continue this in the morning ... soyonara !

ok i am back and its the 12th so i will put yesterdays blog with this blog ... okay where shall we start ... continuing on from yesterday, her car died ... i got worried because it died while she was driving to work because there are crazy peoples that rides the city bus ... but felt some relief when she texted me her uncle was taking her to work ... hmms my mind is kinda lost right now because i cant seem to remember alot of things from yesterday ... I'm just glad she made it home safely with her mom having to pick her up because there was this crazy lady on the loose by her workplace ... and then after a week or so we finally got some time to talk and catch up on things, as if i dont chat with her while at work isnt enough ... but kinda feels different over the phone than from just chatting ... our talks are more real and deeper ... and then she had to leave with her mom to go pick up Gabbers ... speaking of Gabbers i kinda miss that little girl ... i miss her randomness of asking all sorts of questions ... what a funny little girl ... i like her ! ... i think after we talked i had to go ummm ... i dont know ... all i remember was victor over trying to be pals with me ... he came over to watch the chargers preseason game with his daddy so i couldnt really say anything to him so i just said "What man" because he was looking at me ... he said What back and started giggling like a girl with a hoarse voice ... what a punk ass he can be but at times i just wanna laff at him because he's like them type of peoples that are so easy to make fun up ... like a bully picking on little kids for their milk money at school haha ... as much as i dislike him alot of the time, he has his moments of being a nice guy when he wants to be ... i guess thats what makes me forget about me disliking him sometimes ... but i know that he's being nice for a reason, its always like that ... but as it is i guess i'll take it as it comes because he cant really con me or pursuade me to do anything unless it involves food for me hahaha ... and then the chargers lost so he got sad and left home ... boo hoo ... yeah whatever man chargers hella suck anyways ... ok moving on .... hmms i think that was it from yesterday, i didnt do anything or go anywhere ... i just remember eating some nectarines and a banana ... i think that was it ...



Which leads to today ... hmms ... woke up, text her, wanted to tell her that i kinda sorta missed her but i know she will tell me to stop saying gay things to her ... so off to work she went ... and me hmms what did i do ... let me think ... i saw a piece of chicken breast in the fridge so i went to go fry it up ... i used some black pepper and that lemon pepper seasoning on it that she suggested to me ... man it sure was good and im almost out ... forgot to grab a bottle of that when i went to the grocery store ... i dont know whats up with that little corner grocery store but everytime i walk in there, them black dudes always nod their head at me and says sup dawg ... and im just like sup man hahah ... i bought 4 packs of chicken breasts and 2 bottles of lipton iced tea ... i love thoses drinks ... i resisted the Lays basil and tomato chips because i can just hear them say "buy me chewie, buyyyy me" ... but i held back so i went to pay for my stuff and left ... came home and saw adam and vic, they was over to watch the kc vs tampa game ... kc hella lost but i no care because its only preseason and i hardly watch any preseason games ... so yeah Larry your team won ok stupid tampa bay buccaneers ...and then that was it ... kc lost and they went home so i just sat around eating sunflower seeds and drinking my tea ... overall its a boring day ... lets see what tomorrow's adventure will bring ... goodnight !

08092011

Didnt sleep very well last night ... tossed and turned ... woke up earlier than normal ... around 5am or so ... feeling kinda down still ... laid around in bed then got up around 8 to 9 ... did the usual morning routine ... texted her and then bathroom stuff ... got a pretty good scare during lunch hour ... she wasnt feeling well so i was really worried ... tried calling her and didnt pick up so i was really worried ... but finally heard from her so my heart felt some relief ... chit chatted off and on through out the day ... trying to take a nap but couldnt ... started chatting her again and telling her my dumb depressed problems ... she said i was a gay cry baby loser and poked fun at me hahaha ... that made my day and put a smile on my face ... so headed out to the gas station to get some drinks ... while driving home, there was a faint song that came on the radio ... sounded soo familiar so i turned it up ... and wow it was just the perfect song i needed to hear ... felt so much better about everything ! ... came back and told her and she said i was still gay as usual hahah ... i love her sense of humor and how her mind works ... after that i went to go give a prayer and praises for blessing me with everything i have in my life ... for giving me that extra push that i needed today ... asked Him to watch over me and her and our health issues and our families and thanked and thanked him over and over ... thank you for showing me that sign My Lord Jesus ... i totally needed it ... i was telling myself today that I'm in need of Jesus and you never seem to fail me .... You are AMAZING !! and thank you again ... =)

First blog 08092011

Just another ordinary day ... woke up to my daily routine ... texted my favorite person in the word and said good morning ... laid around for a while .. thinking to myself if she will eat breakfast today or just starve like usual ... got up, washed face, brush teeth, typical morning stuff people do ... sat around on the laptop keeping Her company ... thinking if i should take my meds today or skip it ... chest and back started hurting again ... i hate it when that happens ... its nothing serious, just a chest cold ... but it makes me think of things i shouldnt be thinking about ... feeling kinda down ... sometimes i wish that if only people can see the pain, sorrow and sadness in my eyes instead of my everyday smile then maybe they will stop and ask me whats wrong or just say something at least ... but they never do ... no one ever notices anything ... i dont talk much anymore to anyone but yet nobody seems to care to ask why so i just stay quiet like usual ... but when my phone rings and its Her, everything seems to not matter anymore, everything feels great ... she makes me feel like i have no worries ... feels like im back to my old self with renewed energy as if im alive again ... thats one of the many things i love about her ... no matter how bad or horrible my day is, she just somehow takes everything away and makes it better ... i appreciate her so much and i thank god everyday for putting her into my life when i was at my loneliest ... thank you jesus for always looking out for me ... i've strayed away from you for a very very long time but i am happy that thru your words you have taught her, she has brought me back on the right path to be closer to you ... i am very thankful for that ... oh yeah i almost forgot the good news today ... she brought her car back and got all her money back and then some !!! ... im soo happy and excited for her ... for all the good things she's done for many others, she truely deserves it and i thank you for blessing her Jesus ... man this blog thing is kinda cool ... i can ramble on forever and nobody can tell me to shut up haha ... yeah lets just do that and see how much i can blog on my first blog ever ... well i went to taco bell earlier and got me a "fiasco" taco ... dude didnt know what i was talking about so he said fresco ? ... i said umm yeah that, the fresco taco ... felt kinda dumb for mistaking it for a fiasco taco hahah ... came home and here i am now .. hmms what else happened today ... well i ate a wrinkly old mango thats been sitting for who knows how long but it sure was extra juicy and yummy ... like they say, older the berry sweeter the juice ... and then i got my ice tea just waiting for me in the freezer for me to go pop open and drink ... also ate some bomb ass chicken laab today too ... ate twice ... im such a fat ass haha .. ok shes calling me again, gotta go hahaha ... until next time ...............